The trough

I have hit my first trough since being on Nardil. The last two days I have been a damn zombie. My face feels heavy, I have very little motivation, I just want to be by myself, I don't laugh at anyone's jokes. I guess even the most "powerful" of medications can't necessarily remove these troughs. They might tame them a little bit. I mean, life is full of troughs. But when I talk about troughs here, I mean real serious depression troughs.

Since I didn't have the oomph to continue with the previous blog I saved it as a draft. I'm revisiting this post now (July 19) after several days. I have come out of the euphoria and the subsequent trough. Now I'm just feeling dysphoric and that something is just not right. Fortunately, other people have had similar experiences when initiating Nardil. I've learned this by reading messages from this forum. I'm realizing, too, that I'm probably not at a therapeutic dose of Nardil yet. I'm taking 45mg, and for my weight (150 lbs) I need to be taking at least 60mg. The rule-of-thumb is 1mg/kg, which is 1mg of Nardil per every 2.2 lbs of body weight. So, for me, that would be 68 mg of Nardil. So I'm on 45 right now. And that could be why I go through horrible depressive spells at points throughout the day.