Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Uncanny?
It's uncanny, if that is the right word, that so many people do well on Nardil and for so many years. 10, 15, 30 years. Just read the message boards on Nardil. I wonder what "well" means. Perhaps it's relative. I'm on my fourth year on Nardil, my "senior year," I guess, and I believe that the medication I am taking has kept me steady and stable. This is after two years of mental anguish and multitudes of treatments and medications. While my "chemistry" might be in balance, this does not mean that I feel happiness and joy through my days. Looking back at my journal entries I see how I often felt days of moodiness and gloom despite being "stable." I sought treatments and supplements that might make it go away. To no avail. Yet, somehow, despite the failure of these additional trials, these days I do feel moments of happiness and joy, confidence and liberty. What did I do to cause this? I started going to church. I started praying. I continued going to therapy. I continued looking underneath the moods to find what's behind them, and there's always something behind them. I challenged myself and took an international vacation by myself. I had an amazing time. And I continue praying.
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Hi
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog and have enjoyed reading through it. I've been on parnate for a couple of months now, and its been very good until some major turbalance recently.
It's hard to know what a normal life should like look when you're been depressed for so long. It should be happy, sad, frustrating, joyful and surprising. But i find it very difficult in regular times to know what is 'normal' and what is depression, though unfortunatley its often very easy to tell.
Good luck and i hope you keep writing. And i wish you well with church and prayer. That is a very up and down part of my life.
Glen